she was so not down for the gang bang
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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