I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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