I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
