This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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