Pappa wants mamma naked
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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