I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
