all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
