She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
