you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
