I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
