I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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