We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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