ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize