Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You left your underwear on the fireplace
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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