Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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