This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
