I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
