i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
