Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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