shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it was like eating out sand paper
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
