please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
