dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
