Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
