He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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