He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize