The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
