hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
