i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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