Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Four minutes until I can fart!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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