You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
