i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
