It's Friday. Sex?
handjob tips. give me some.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
