my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I would ride that face into the sunset
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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