I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
