No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
