don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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