pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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