Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
