so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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