He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i will never coherently bang her
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
