Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Boobs speak an international language.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
