I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
