I just pynch a tree in the face
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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