yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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