I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
