You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
