Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize