They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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