weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
