no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
