Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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