Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize