I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
