if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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