haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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