I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
