I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
