I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
