omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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