found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
