just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
