If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize